Zerith: Misery
by M. L. Ayala
Summary: Zack/Aerith, one-shot, songfic. Misery by Maroon 5. Covers some of the feelings and events after Zack leaves for Nibelheim to the last stand against the Shinra army.


Hey everyone! I'm back, with another Zack/Aerith one-shot. This time the song is Maroon 5's _Misery_

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><p><em>Oh yeah, oh yeah<em>

_So scared of breaking it_

_But you won't let it bend_

_And I wrote two hundred letters_

_I will never send_

Aerith had watched him walk out of the church with the paper folded carefully in his hand. Twenty-three wishes, that's what she had told him was written there, but that wasn't true. She had summarized her wishes, combined them all into one. Was it too much to hope that he would read that note, then turn around and come back to her?

Apparently it was. But that was all right; she knew that he was busy, and that he had a mission. He would be back soon, then she would have her wish. She sighed and knelt down in the flowers again.

That had been a year ago. Aerith sat in the church, paper and pen haphazardly thrown in front of stained the front of her dress and blurred the words so carefully printed on the pages. When she saw the ink smears and smudges, she sighed and crumpled the paper. Yet another letter that she would never send him.

_Sometimes these cuts are so much deeper than they seem_

_You'd rather cover up_

_I'd rather let them bleed_

Zack laid on the reactor steps in Nibelheim, fading in and out of consciousness. Sephiroth was dead and Nibelheim had been burned to the ground. Just another day in the life of SOLDIER. He opened his eyes just enough to see the young man sprawled beside him, with a bloody wound from Masamune. So many lives tainted by the corruption that was Shinra. Zack made a promise to himself: when he returned to Midgar he was done with Shinra, forever. He fought to stay conscious at the sound of approaching footsteps, but it all faded to black.

"This is a blight on the name of Shinra..."

"...must be kept secret..."

"... experiments... specimens..."

Zack's eyes opened slowly. He tried to make sense of where he was, but it was too difficult to see through the murky greenish water. When he tried to move he just felt heavy. A blur of white, then that nasally, screeching voice. _No ... no no no no no! Anything but this_, he started to struggle, but he couldn't feel his body anymore. It was all slipping away to black once again.

_Aerith..._

_So let me be,_

_And I'll set you free_

_|~O~|~O~|~O~|_

_I am in misery_

_There ain't nobody who can comfort me_

_(Oh yeah)_

Every time Zack was able to fight his way back to consciousness, convinced that this was just some horrible nightmare, Hojo was there to tell him otherwise. Of course, he never addressed him directly, only as the "specimen," and only when making notes on the experiment. Zack could feel his sanity slipping away from him, a little more each time he opened his eyes.

Then he started seeing things. The first time it was his parents, smiling down at him the way they had when he was much younger. When he tried to reached out to them, their kind smiles melted away into Hojo's cold sneer. The next time, it was the SOLDIER who had recruited him, giving an encouraging word of advice, which quickly turned to the scientific jargon and ramblings of the mad scientist. His friends, his family, even strangers that he had only ever glimpsed on the street, they all came to see him and give him some form of comfort, only to disappear into the far corners of his mind, chased away by a very real nightmare. Everyone was there, except the one person he wanted to see most.

By the time Angeal appeared, Zack's spirit had been broken. He couldn't bring himself to even try to respond to Angeal's words.

When he woke up, the glass test tube shattered in pieces around him, a spark of hope began to form.

_Why won't you answer me?_

_The silence is slowly killing me_

Four years. Four long and painful years, and not a word. Aerith knelt in the flower bed, hands clasped in silent prayer. She knew that Tseng was somewhere nearby watching her, observing her every action. She didn't care, at least, not today.

Today ... today something was different. She could feel a glimmer of hope begin to form. _Zack ... where are you?_

It had been so long, and she had waited, not regretting any of the time she had spent, but still. Everyday she had expected him to come through the door, pull her into a hug, and tell her how sorry he was for leaving her alone for so long. He never did. So she couldn't help but wonder if the feeling, the slight kindling of hope, was just her wishful thinking.

She stood slowly and stretched. The Angeal-Griffon watched her silently from the rafters, the same way it had everyday since Zack had left. Pulling an envelope from her dress pocket, she looked up at the Griffon. It cocked its head and hopped down, cautiously approaching her like a stray dog.

"This is the last one," she whispered as she held the letter out to it. "The 89th letter. Please, I need to know that this gets to him. Will you take it?"

The Griffon gently took the letter from her outstretched hand, then flew off with a quick beat of its wings.

Aerith closed her eyes to stop the tears from starting, but didn't quite manage to keep one from slipping beneath her dark lashes.

_Girl you really go me bad_

_You really got me bad_

_I'm gonna get you back_

_Gonna get you back_

Zack laid under the stars, miles away from Nibelheim. Cloud was beside him, in a Mako induced coma. Shinra would be coming for them, he knew that. They would have to be quick, thinking one step ahead if they wanted to stay alive. No blight on the Company's record was ever left alone for long. They would be captured and returned to the test tubes, and if they put up a fight, well, bullets were cheap and infantrymen a dime-a-dozen. There would be a battle, and Zack didn't plan to go down without a fight.

He knew that this was what waited for them if he insisted on returning to Midgar. He knew that there was no life for him in the city. He knew that there would be people waiting for him to make a stupid mistake like that.

But he was going back, no matter what was waiting for him. Because he was going back for her.

_Your salty skin and how_

_It mixes in with mine_

_The way it feels to be_

_Completely intertwined_

Zack sat up with a jolt. He could taste the tangy salt air as he gasped, trying to bring his breathing back to normal. What had started as a pleasant dream had transformed into a nightmare that left him shivering. One moment he had been with Aerith, the next she had been ripped away, replaced by Hojo's lab in the Manor.

He threw himself back on the sand with a thud. Cloud was a few feet away, still in a stupor. Zack considered talking to him, but pushed the thought away. What he really wanted was to be alone. Closing his eyes, a picture of Aerith came to him, the way she had looked that last time he saw here. _Alright_, he thought, _maybe I don't want to be alone._

_Not that I didn't care_

_It's that I didn't know_

_It's not what I didn't feel_

_It's what I didn't show_

Aerith sat quietly at her kitchen table, the blank pages spread before her. It had been so long since she'd last seen him. Had he moved on without her? No, no he wouldn't have done that without telling her.

She grabbed a pen and leaned over one of the pages, then stopped. _No, I told him that the 89th was the last one ... oh Zack, where are you?_ Carefully, she laid the pen back down and got up from the table.

_I'm so sorry Zack, but I need to move on. Mom doesn't like seeing me mope around like this ... and I can't take this heartbreak any longer. But please know this - I will always love you._

_So let me be,_

_And I'll set you free_

_|~O~|~O~|~O~|_

_I am in misery_

_There ain't nobody who can comfort me_

_(Oh yeah)_

_Why woun't you answer me?_

_The silence is slowly killing me_

_|~O~|~O~|~O~|_

_Girl you really got me bad_

_You really got me bad_

_I'm gonna get you back_

_I'm gonna get you back_

Zack held the letter in a death grip, staring wide-eyed.

"Four years...?" he felt like he'd been stabbed through the heart. Those two words kept repeating in his mind, over and over. _How could it have possibly been that long?_

Then his gaze fell further down the page. Throwing his head back, he screamed at the sky, "What do you mean, FINAL?"

He looked over at Cloud, lying listlessly on the ground. The remains of Banora spread before them, and the Angeal-Griffon was collapsed by the tree. His whole life, every last scrap of hope he had left, had just crumbled.

_I have to get back to her ... have to explain ..._

"Aerith ... just wait for me a little longer ... okay?" his plea echoed across the ruined town.

_Say your faith is shaken_

_You may be mistaken_

_You keep me wide awake and_

_Waiting for the sun_

Aerith sat cross-legged on the floor of the church in one of the patches of sunlight. She stared up at the hole in the ceiling and thought about his promise to her. He was going to take her above the plate, take her to see the sky. Some days, she could almost see it as she sat there, but the plate always blocked it out. It was still a mystery to her how the sunlight found its way down to the flowers.

The light had faded and a soft twilight descended before Aerith stood and left the church. She didn't want to go home just yet, and she knew that she wouldn't be able to sleep tonight, so she decided to head for the park. It was empty at this time of night, but she didn't mind. All she wanted was to sit and remember his sunny smile. And wonder if she would ever be able to see it again.

_I'm desperate and confused_

_So far away from you_

_I"m getting there_

_I don't care where I have to go._

Shinra was still hunting them. It didn't matter what they did, or what they said. No one cared that he just wanted out. They didn't believe that he would just disappear on his own. They were going to make him disappear.

Zack didn't understand why it was so important that they be recaptured, but he had a feeling that if he was going to get back to Aerith he was going to have to fight tooth and nail to get to her. He would gladly circle the planet a dozen times if that's what it took.

He'd been kept away for four years; nothing was getting in his way now.

_Why do you do what you do to me, yeah_

Zack ruffled Cloud's hair affectionately after setting him down behind some rocks. The army had finally caught up with them, just outside of Midgar. _So close, but not close enough_. He stood and turned away. _You'll be safe here, Cloud, Zack thought as he walked off. I'll just be a minute …_

_Why won't you answer me, answer me, yeah_

Aerith snuck down the stairs, trying not to make a sound. She had told her mother that she would stay home today, but for some reason she knew that home was not the place to be. The church was her sanctuary, and she sensed that she would be needing a sanctuary today.

_Why do you do what you do to me, yeah_

After half of the army had fallen to Zack and the Buster sword, he wondered how much longer he could last. They just keep coming ... why won't the quit? Another three fell when he used a Thunder materia. The adrenaline was starting to wear off, and he was faltering. Then ... her voice, her face, the feel of her soft hair as he tied the red bow into it, so very long ago. He let loose an animalistic yell and charged into the fray again.

_Why won't you answer me, answer me, yeah_

The flowers bent and twisted around her as Aerith knelt among them. She could feel dozens, no, hundreds of souls returning to the planet. None of them was anyone that she knew, but this was related to her feeling of foreboding, she was sure of it. She silently begged the planet to, just this once, tell her exactly what was happening. No answer came.

_I am in misery_

_There ain't nobody who can comfort me_

_(Oh yeah)_

The army was retreating, leaving their wounded and dead lying scattered across the field. Zack barely registered their departure as he stumbled up a narrow path in the cliffs. Once he reached the top he collapsed and looked off into the distance. Shimmering like a mirage before him, Midgar laughed at his failed attempt to reach her.

_Why won't you answer me_

_The silence is slowly killing me_

_(Oh yeah)_

The rain came suddenly, without warning. Aerith looked up as the big drops fell softly through the holes in the ceiling. She could feel so many emotions, and she was confused for a moment until she realized where they were coming from. The rain carried them in. Anger, regret, loss, but most of all … sorrow. It felt like the planet was apologizing to her, and she wondered why. She hadn't sensed anymore lives lost for a while, and even when she had they hadn't been anyone that she knew. _What is it?_ she begged. _Please just tell me_. No answer, just more sorrow.

Then….

She turned her face upwards sharply with a gasp. No…

_Girl you really got me bad_

_You really got me bad_

_I'm gonna get you back_

_Gonna get you back_

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><p><em>This one gave me some trouble while writing, but I'm fairly satisfied with the end result :) Review and let me know what you think!<em>


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